{"id":177622,"date":"2023-01-05T08:27:07","date_gmt":"2023-01-05T08:27:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harchi90.com\/30-new-bachelor-contestants-30-new-weird-ass-contestant-bios-to-fixate-on\/"},"modified":"2023-01-05T08:27:07","modified_gmt":"2023-01-05T08:27:07","slug":"30-new-bachelor-contestants-30-new-weird-ass-contestant-bios-to-fixate-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harchi90.com\/30-new-bachelor-contestants-30-new-weird-ass-contestant-bios-to-fixate-on\/","title":{"rendered":"30 new Bachelor contestants, 30 new weird-ass contestant bios to fixate on"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The Bachelor<\/em><\/figcaption>
Image: ABC<\/figcaption><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Few long-running reality shows adhere to their rhythms and rituals more tightly than ABC’s Bachelor<\/em><\/span>\/<\/em>Bachelorette<\/em><\/span> <\/em>franchise Every few months, like clockwork, a crop of 20-30 20-30-somethings\u2014all with very shiny teeth, and job titles like \u201cExecutive Executive\u201d or \u201cProfessional Thinker\u201d\u2014are paraded in front of the people of America for cursory perusal, before being shipped off to one of the show’s various compounds so that we can all wait for them to do something romantic or, possibly, racist. All are, ostensibly, in the market for love, and have thus decided to pursue that romantic aspiration via a high-intensity reality show that has produced exactly 6 ongoing romantic relationships in its 20-plus years of operation. (That’s not us being cynical; them’s the stats.)<\/p>\n

For the heartless and unloved like us, trapped on the outside of this glorious amorous treadmill, the arrival of a new batch of Bachelor <\/em>contestants can mean only one thing: Poring over the show-provided biographies of each of these 30 new contestants to find the whackest thing in each of them. (There’s always something<\/em>; the writers who condense contestant interviews into these little tidbits have a weird knack for including some space alien element in almost all of them.) We also, typically, place that kind of scrutiny on The Bachelor <\/em>himself, although in this case, we don’t have to: We already know that new bachelor (and former Bachelorette <\/em>contestant) Zach Shallcross is the nephew of actor Patrick Warburton<\/span>which means that marrying him means you might have Thanksgiving one year with Puddy\/Kronk, and nothing could possibly be weirder than that.<\/p>\n

So, here you have it: The 30 women who will be fighting it out for Shallcross’ heart, as identified by their ages, their hometowns, and, most importantly, the weirdest thing we could find about them. Which, we hasten to add, we did not make up. We know it sounds like we made some of these up! If you want to confirm\u2014and see what these women actually look like, and read about how they really are there for the<\/em> right reasons\u2014<\/em>you can click over to variety<\/em>‘s rundown<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Anyway, here goes:<\/p>\n