{"id":184425,"date":"2023-01-12T08:35:05","date_gmt":"2023-01-12T08:35:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/harchi90.com\/the-winners-and-losers-of-prince-harrys-spare\/"},"modified":"2023-01-12T08:35:05","modified_gmt":"2023-01-12T08:35:05","slug":"the-winners-and-losers-of-prince-harrys-spare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harchi90.com\/the-winners-and-losers-of-prince-harrys-spare\/","title":{"rendered":"The Winners and Losers of Prince Harry’s ‘Spare’"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Harry’s high thoughts? Winning stuff.
\n Photo-Illustration: Vulture. Photos: Samir Hussein – Pool\/WireImage; fox<\/span>\n <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

Prince Harry’s new memoir spare<\/em>, is the literary equivalent of the tea going cold and the crumpets being a bit too stale. Sure, there’s never enough gossip to satiate palace intrigue, but Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, had already done a tell-all interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2021 and a tell-even-more Netflix docuseries in 2022 \u2014 making spare<\/em> more of a recap than exposure. Still, Harry is gingerly game to inject some Crown<\/em> <\/em>into the House of Windsor. We’ll spare you the long read and tell you the winners and losers.<\/p>\n

Loser: Prince Andrew<\/strong>
When security services were pulled from Harry, Meghan, and their newborn, Archie, in February 2020 \u2014 a \u201cgovernment decision,\u201d his brother William alleged \u2014 Harry couldn’t help but think about who still did<\/em> have protection: His disgraced uncle and Jeffrey Epstein associate, Prince Andrew. \u201cHe was embroiled in a shameful scandal, accused of the sexual assault of a young woman, and no one had so much as suggested that he lose his security,\u201d Harry writes.<\/p>\n

Sickest nose:<\/em> \u201cWhatever grievances people had against us, sex crimes weren’t on the list.\u201d<\/p>\n

Winner: Stewie<\/strong>
With whom Harry shares an \u201cinexplicable bond\u201d \u2014 when he’s smoking weed and super-high, at least \u2014 because the Family Guy <\/em>character is a “prophet without honor.” He also compares William to Stewie on one occasion in a derogatory way.<\/p>\n

Loser: Camilla, Queen Consort<\/strong>
Harry claims that his stepmother \u2014 whom he and William begged his father not to marry \u2014 has always been the most cunning royal when it comes to tabloid coverage, so much so that she frequently leaks details of the Windsors’ lives to members of the press in exchange for favorable coverage of her own. \u201cStories began to appear everywhere, in all the papers, about her private conversations with Willy,\u201d Harry writes, \u201cstories that contained pinpoint accurate details, none of which had come from Willy, of course.\u201d Camilla’s alleged behavior \u2014 which, according to Harry, dates back to the start of her relationship with Charles after Diana died \u2014 was reflected in a top member of her and Charles’s shared communications team, who \u201cdevised and launched a campaign of getting good press for Pa and Camilla at the expense of bad press for us.\u201d All that, and she turned Harry’s bedroom into a dressing room after he moved out. \u201cI tried not to care,\u201d he admits. \u201cBut, especially after the first time I saw it, I cared.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sickest nose: <\/em>\u201cShe began to play the long game. A campaign aimed at marriage, and eventually the Crown.\u201d<\/p>\n

Winner: Pixar<\/strong>
Following his first date with Meghan, Harry \u2014 having arrived 30 minutes late due to traffic and believing he ruined his chances as a result \u2014 commiserated with a friend afterward by drinking, smoking, and watching Inside Out<\/em>. <\/em>\u201cAn animated movie about emotions,\u201d he says. \u201cPerfect. I was thoroughly inside-out.\u201d Meghan FaceTimed him mid-film and was confused as to why he was \u201cwatching cartoons.\u201d<\/p>\n

Loser: Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales<\/strong>
Harry recounts how Kate felt a sense of malaise around Meghan and how the relationship among the \u201cFab Four\u201d fissured because of it. Kate, for instance, was upset that the couple did n’t bring her gifts for the Easter holiday one year, and also insisted that she was \u201cowed an apology\u201d after Meghan mentioned her post-baby mind-set in a private conversation. \u201cWe’re not close enough for you to talk about my hormones!\u201d Kate told Meghan in front of their spouses, Harry writes. Prior to that, Kate voiced several \u201cproblems\u201d she had with the arrangements for Meghan and Harry’s wedding, which he chalks up to American versus British cultural differences. Oh yeah, and Kate (with William) allegedly encouraged Harry to wear a Nazi uniform to a mid-aughts costume party.<\/p>\n

Sickest nose: <\/em>\u201cShe loved clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Winner: friends<\/em><\/strong>
Harry, who identifies as a Chandler, mentions his \u201cfanatic\u201d love of the NBC sitcom four times in the book. \u201cI think I watched every episode of friends<\/em> <\/em>in 2013,\u201d he writes. He cites \u201cThe One With Monica and Chandler’s Wedding\u201d as a particularly good underwear-folding episode. He would go on to be a guest at Courteney Cox’s home in Los Angeles in 2016: \u201cThe idea of \u200b\u200bcrashing at Monica’s was highly appealing. And amusing.\u201d While there he took magic mushrooms \u2014 a \u201ctrip\u201d that crescendoed with a talking toilet that had its own head.<\/p>\n

Loser: King Charles<\/strong>
Harry accuses his father of being complicit in enabling Camilla’s fixation with the press, so much that William and Kate thought they were being \u201ctrapped and unfairly persecuted\u201d by the couple. \u201cPa and Camilla didn’t want Willy and Kate drawing headlines away from them or their causes,\u201d Harry writes. \u201cThey’d openly scolded Willy about it many times.\u201d Charles was also \u201cfurious\u201d with Harry’s crusade against the racist tabloid coverage surrounding Meghan, because it made him \u201clook bad\u201d that he didn’t do such an action for Camilla. \u201cWhat he couldn’t really stomach was someone new dominating the monarchy,\u201d Harry continues, \u201cgrabbing the limelight, someone shiny and new coming in and overshadowing him.\u201d Without warning, he cut Harry off financially when the couple were left with few resources in early 2020, a decision his son says made him \u201cfatted for the slaughter.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sickest nose:<\/em> \u201cHe wasn’t great at showing emotions under normal circumstances, how could he be expected to show them in a crisis?\u201d<\/p>\n

Winner: Will Arnett<\/strong>
Harry was so starstruck meeting the voice of Batman in The Lego Batman Movie<\/em>, <\/em>that he repeatedly asked Arnett to say \u201cHello, Harry\u201d to him at a party. \u201cHe wanted to say no, but he didn’t want to be impolite,\u201d Harry remembers. \u201cOr else he recognized that I wouldn’t stop.\u201d<\/p>\n

Loser: Prince William<\/strong>
in 2019, <\/strong>William allegedly physically attacked Harry during an argument about Meghan, who William thought was \u201cdifficult,\u201d \u201crude,\u201d and \u201cabrasive\u201d \u2014 and whom he previously pleaded with his brother not to date. The attack left Harry with scrapes and bruises on his back. William appeared to be most susceptible among the Windsors to believing tabloid stories about Meghan, with Harry recalling that \u201che was just repeating the press narrative, spouting fake stories he’d read or been told.\u201d He also told Harry that his therapist was brainwashing him, which Harry believes was William’s strategy to discredit Harry’s wellness among the family.<\/p>\n

Sickest nose:<\/em> \u201cMy dear brother, my archenemy, how did we come to this?\u201d<\/p>\n

Winner: Suits<\/em><\/strong>
When Harry first told William and Kate about his romantic relationship with Meghan, they responded with genuine shock and delight. Turns out, they were \u201creligious\u201d Suits<\/em> <\/em>watchers who knew every detail about the exploits of her paralegal character, Rachel Zane. \u201cNow I had to worry about them hounding her for an autograph,\u201d Harry recalls.<\/p>\n

Loser: Bad tattoos<\/strong>
A drunken Harry was held back, physically, from getting a foot tattoo of Botswana during a boys’ trip to Las Vegas in 2012. He thought it would honor his \u201csense of carpe diem.\u201d His friends disagreed.<\/p>\n

Winner: BrainyQuote.com<\/strong>
Harry was \u201cthunderstruck\u201d to discover a William Faulkner quote on the website that was relatable to him \u2014 \u201cThe past is never dead. It’s not even past\u201d \u2014 enough to include it 17 pages in.<\/p>\n